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ejacutastic:

when guys talk about how gross periods are i just laugh because guys have a floppy piece of flesh that gets hard and that’s pretty fuckin weird, bucko

rabioheab:

i can’t wait until the days when we’re all old and the stereotype is that old people like rap and dubstep

eyeslikecominghome:

a commercial for dominos was just on and i guess i was lovingly staring at the tv because my mom says to my dad “i wish you still looked at me like haley’s looking at that pizza”

passion:

shall i compare thee to a summer’s day?

hot as balls

sorryforpartybarackin:

OH ‘sexually active’ i thought you said ‘radioactive.’ well in that case, no. i am not

hi hello if you’re reading this i hope something good happens to you today

sfux:

i feel like people who eat breakfast really have their lives together

iwishihadafather:

hitlersbreastmilk:

if u really love me u would lick my eyeball